Day Seventy-Eight: A Boy and His Dog

A BOY AND HIS DOG

Starring:
-Don Johnson
-Susanne Benton
-Jason Robards

Directed by: LQ Jones

MPAA Rating: R


Between the tagline, “a rather kinky tale of survival” and the eerie, grinning mushroom cloud on the case cover, one should be able to surmise that this is a very strange film.

Originally released in 1975, this freaky little movie has achieved cult status in the science fiction world, and it’s easy to see why. This is one of the most culty movies I have ever seen. Don Johnson stars as Vic, a handsome young guy who is just trying to make ends meet and find women to sleep with. The year is 2024, and WWIV has turned the entire world into an endless wasteland. Survivors battle for food, shelter, and hookers in the post-apocalyptic landscape. Vic is slightly better off than the other survivors, because he has a snarky, shaggy dog named Blood with whom he can communicate telepathically.

I know it’s weird, but just stay with me here.

The lingering affects of the radiation have destroyed Blood’s power to scavenge for food, but he has retained him ability to sniff out women. This is important to Vic, because he’s a pretty nasty guy. So the arrangement is, Vic finds Blood food, Blood finds Vic chicks. That has to be one of the weirdest sentences I have ever typed in my entire life. Spellcheck is going crazy with that one.

One such woman that Blood sniffs out is a shady character who convinces Vic to return to her creepy underground town. This is where survivors with creepy clown makeup have lived for years. But lack of exposure to the sun has rendered the men impotent (tough break, fellas), and all the townsfolk are dying out and a dismally slow pace.

Long story short, the woman’s job was to lure Vic down there so he could serve as baby daddy for the dying community. He thinks this is a pretty fair idea until he realizes that not only will he be forced to marry all of these creepy women, he doesn’t actually get to get jiggy with any of them. Instead he is hooked up to a machine and…well, you get the idea. It’s pretty gross. This is definitely a man movie.

Anyway, the gal decides to rescue Vic and take him away from this terrible place, so she helps him to the exit and he helps her destroy the creepy town. Back up top, Vic discovers that Blood has been badly injured and is almost starved to death (can’t hunt, remember?).

This is where the film is really warped. In one frame, there is the woman standing next to Vic. The next frame shows Vic and Blood walking off into the sunset together, their conversation blatantly implying that Vic killed the woman and cooked her over an open fire to nourish Blood.

I know, right?!?!

This movie is downright terrible, but it is almost criminally weird. I can think of maybe three or four people I might recommend this to, but only because I know they appreciate freaky little things like this a lot more than the average bear.

To me, the single redeeming quality of this film is that Blood is hilarious, with a delightfully dry wit, and he is played by Tiger from THE BRADY BUNCH. No kidding, people. It really is him and he’s just as cute has he can be.

Fun fact for you folks: plans were made to make a sequel (and odds are it would have been even more horrific than its predecessor), but the project was canned when Tiger died. Sad day. Anway, since he was a mutt (and not a designer dog like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie), a replacement Blood could not be found.

But I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it, if I were you.


FINAL GRADE: C-

Off in search of women and food,

M.