Day Sixty-Five: Black Dog

BLACK DOG

Starring:
-Patrick Swayze
-Randy Travis
-Meat Loaf
-Stephen “Oh Gah, Don’t You Love A Good Monkey” Toblowsky

Directed by: Kevin Hooks

Screenplay Credits: William Mickelberry & Dan Vining

MPAA Rating: PG-13


Car chase! Explosions! Agrument between FBI and ATF agents!

And so begins another exciting trucker movie.

Patrick is working as a mechanic. We learn that he was arrested for something and lost his CDL, but he was one of those legendary Bandit-style truckers. His boss pulls him aside and lays down the law: complete this off the books run for me (even though you are not longer licensed to drive a big truck) or I’ll fire you.

Patrick’s wife is the lady who killed herself on Wisteria Lane. She’s a pretty lady, but she doesn’t look right next to Patrick. She’s very pale, and she’s almost too tall for him. Also on her list of faults is the bank foreclosure letter she’s keeping hidden away from in the kitchen. This is the deciding factor for Patrick, who agrees to make the 15-hour Atlanta run.

Patrick dreams he’s cruising along in his rig, half-asleep, and he hits a creepy looking black dog.

This does not deter him from reporting to Meat Loaf in Atlanta. He meets Earl (Randy Travis), another driver. Meat Loaf likes coupons, and the Bible. Patrick hops into his BEAUTIFUL old Peterbilt along with Earl, who’ll bring the rig back from New Jersey. Wes and Sonny will be riding behind them running blocker for “protection.”

At this point, you’ll find yourself thinking, “Well, this is all well and good, but when is Randy Travis going to SING?!?”

The answer is: SOON. But be prepared, it won’t be pretty.

Also somebody who is NOT Eddie Rabbit sings “Driving My Life Away.”

Anyway, a car with only one headlight drives up and starts blasting away at them. They realize that the bad guys are working for Meat Loaf, who is trying to hijack the load. Thanks to some fancy driving, Patrick gets away.

Patrick asks what exactly he’s carrying, so they all pile into the back to see crates full of AK-47s. The bad guys go after Patrick’s wife and kid, Meat Loaf’s still chasing them, you know the story. Randy Travis tells the cryptic story of The Black Dog. It comes when you get greedy; it comes to take everything away from you…spoooooky.

I wish they’d done a little more with the black dog legend, because that part is actually a whole lot more interesting than the other plot they’ve come up with.

Patrick bargains with the bad guys to get his wife and daughter. The FBI rolls in just in time and a dramatic shootout occurs. Patrick gets a bloody lip but his wife kisses him anyway because hey, he’s Patrick Swayze.

The FBI was so thankful that they give Patrick his license back, and they save their house. Ain’t life grand?


This is a pretty stupid movie. It’s certainly not Patrick’s best work, but he makes up for it by breathily repeating a name that may or may not be mine again, and again, and again…

Just prepare to hear Swayze say the phrase, “I’m gonna get us out of this” about every twenty minutes. And, just in case you’re wondering, Randy does get to sing over the closing credits. Perhaps this is our reward for sitting through the whole movie…well, this and watching Meat Loaf meet Jesus in a fiery train explosion.


FINAL GRADE: C

Off in search of the dog,

M.