STOMP OUT LOUD
Created & Directed by: Luke Cresswell & Steve McNicholas
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
If you've seen the stage show STOMP in theaters, then you'll know pretty much what to expect out of this DVD. It is slightly more thrilling to see the percussionists performing right in front of you. Another plus of seeing the show live is feeling your heart threatening to thud out of your chest. So, yes, I'm a STOMP advocate for sure. You can bet the next time their tour swings by my neck of the woods, I'll be there.
Here's the basic gist: STOMP OUT LOUD is 50 minutes of talented percussionists making intricate rhythms out of found objects like brooms, buckets, playing cards, dumpsters, basketballs, kitchen tools and appliances, even an old truck. Intercut are famous scenes from the stage show, including the broom dance (which is one of my favorites) and the epic trash can battle finale. The only thing that's more fun than seeing this show (or this DVD) would be actually performing the numbers on stage. You can tell it's a party and a half.
A word of warning: be prepared to feel drummy after you watch this one. You'll be tempted to grab a pair of drumsticks and walk around looking for stuff to beat on.
FINAL GRADE: A
Off in search of an energetic percussionist,
M.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Day Twenty-Six: Stranger Than Fiction
STRANGER THAN FICTION
Starring:
-Will Ferrel
-Maggie Gyllenhaal
-Dustin Hoffman
-Queen Latifah
-Emma Thompson
Directed by: Marc Forster
Written by: Zach Helm
MPAA Rating: PG-13 - some disturbing images, sexuality, brief language, and nudity
Those of you who tend to avoid the usual frat-boy antics of Will Ferrell spouting bathroom humor in his underpants, rejoice. Here is a Ferrell film you might actually enjoy.
Will stars as Harold Crick, a boring IRS auditor whose life is one big, endless routine. His latest case involves Ana Pascal, a tattooed bake shop owner who refuses to give Caesar what is Caesar's. Ana is an anti-establishment, down with the man, free love and cupcakes kinda gal, and she's determined to make "Tax Man" Harold miserable as he slogs through piles of her paperwork. Harold starts to hear an omniscient voice narrating his life and discovers that he is unable to communicate with it.
While waiting at the bus stop, Harold discovers that his watch has stopped. He asks the time of someone on the street, then resets his watch. The Voice says, "Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act would result in him imminent death."
Harold freaks and hurries to a psychiatrist, who incorrectly diagnoses him with schizophrenia. Harold asks the woman if she'll take schizophrenia off the table and suggest something else. She proposes that since he has a narrator, he should consult someone who knows about books. This brings Harold to university professor Jules Hilbert (Hoffman), who agrees that he sounds pretty crazy until he learns that the Harold last said "little did he know." According to Hilbert, this is a literary device used to demonstrate that there is something the character does not know. Hilbert encourages Harold to try and find out who the author of his story is, and whether or not he's living in a comedy or a tragedy.
Harold continues to go to the bake shop to sort through Ana's garbled files. Ana has warmed slightly, and brings him a plate of fresh-baked cookies. Harold insists that he cannot accept them, as they could be considered a bribe.
"I'll purchase them!" - Harold
This pisses Ana off and orders him to leave, which leads Harold to conclude that he is definitely living in a tragedy. Harold takes Hilbert's advice and tries to do nothing the next day. The idea of this exercise is to see whether or not a plot will find him, as a story cannot be told with characters who never do anything. Harold lounges on the couch watching television in his sweat pants when suddenly a huge wrecking ball comes crashing into his living room. Hilbert concludes that Harold is powerless in the situation and will certainly die, but he encourages him to make the most of what's left of his life.
Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.
Harold grows closer to work buddy Dave, learns to play the guitar, and resolves Ana's tax issues by discovering that she gives away lots of food to those in need.
At last Harold discovers the name of his author, Karen Eiffel, a novelist who is infamous for always killing off the main character in her books. Harold goes through tax records to finds her address and hurries over to convince her that he is real. Karen has finally come up with an ending to her book and gives it to Harold to read, but he is too nervous and passes it to Hilbert instead. Hilbert concludes that this is Eiffel's greatest work, but its genius is largely due to Harold's death. Harold accepts this as his fate and spends one final night with Ana. The next morning....well, just watch it.
I love this movie because it's about realizing your mortality and doing something about it. No, you can't add days or hours, or even minutes to your lifespan, but you do have the ability to squeeze every last drop of life out of each day you have.
This is a brilliant, eloquent film that never ceases to inspire and amaze me. I seem to pick up on something new with each subsequent watching, which is high praise to first time screenwriter Zach Helms. There are lots of great moments in this one, but one of my favorites is when Harold goes to make up with Ana. Does he bring her flowers? Oh, no. He brings her flours. She's a baker, get it? I know. I laughed for a long time, too.
FINAL GRADE: A+
Awesome.
Off in search of a wristwatch,
M.
Starring:
-Will Ferrel
-Maggie Gyllenhaal
-Dustin Hoffman
-Queen Latifah
-Emma Thompson
Directed by: Marc Forster
Written by: Zach Helm
MPAA Rating: PG-13 - some disturbing images, sexuality, brief language, and nudity
Those of you who tend to avoid the usual frat-boy antics of Will Ferrell spouting bathroom humor in his underpants, rejoice. Here is a Ferrell film you might actually enjoy.
Will stars as Harold Crick, a boring IRS auditor whose life is one big, endless routine. His latest case involves Ana Pascal, a tattooed bake shop owner who refuses to give Caesar what is Caesar's. Ana is an anti-establishment, down with the man, free love and cupcakes kinda gal, and she's determined to make "Tax Man" Harold miserable as he slogs through piles of her paperwork. Harold starts to hear an omniscient voice narrating his life and discovers that he is unable to communicate with it.
While waiting at the bus stop, Harold discovers that his watch has stopped. He asks the time of someone on the street, then resets his watch. The Voice says, "Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act would result in him imminent death."
Harold freaks and hurries to a psychiatrist, who incorrectly diagnoses him with schizophrenia. Harold asks the woman if she'll take schizophrenia off the table and suggest something else. She proposes that since he has a narrator, he should consult someone who knows about books. This brings Harold to university professor Jules Hilbert (Hoffman), who agrees that he sounds pretty crazy until he learns that the Harold last said "little did he know." According to Hilbert, this is a literary device used to demonstrate that there is something the character does not know. Hilbert encourages Harold to try and find out who the author of his story is, and whether or not he's living in a comedy or a tragedy.
Harold continues to go to the bake shop to sort through Ana's garbled files. Ana has warmed slightly, and brings him a plate of fresh-baked cookies. Harold insists that he cannot accept them, as they could be considered a bribe.
"I'll purchase them!" - Harold
This pisses Ana off and orders him to leave, which leads Harold to conclude that he is definitely living in a tragedy. Harold takes Hilbert's advice and tries to do nothing the next day. The idea of this exercise is to see whether or not a plot will find him, as a story cannot be told with characters who never do anything. Harold lounges on the couch watching television in his sweat pants when suddenly a huge wrecking ball comes crashing into his living room. Hilbert concludes that Harold is powerless in the situation and will certainly die, but he encourages him to make the most of what's left of his life.
Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.
Harold grows closer to work buddy Dave, learns to play the guitar, and resolves Ana's tax issues by discovering that she gives away lots of food to those in need.
At last Harold discovers the name of his author, Karen Eiffel, a novelist who is infamous for always killing off the main character in her books. Harold goes through tax records to finds her address and hurries over to convince her that he is real. Karen has finally come up with an ending to her book and gives it to Harold to read, but he is too nervous and passes it to Hilbert instead. Hilbert concludes that this is Eiffel's greatest work, but its genius is largely due to Harold's death. Harold accepts this as his fate and spends one final night with Ana. The next morning....well, just watch it.
I love this movie because it's about realizing your mortality and doing something about it. No, you can't add days or hours, or even minutes to your lifespan, but you do have the ability to squeeze every last drop of life out of each day you have.
This is a brilliant, eloquent film that never ceases to inspire and amaze me. I seem to pick up on something new with each subsequent watching, which is high praise to first time screenwriter Zach Helms. There are lots of great moments in this one, but one of my favorites is when Harold goes to make up with Ana. Does he bring her flowers? Oh, no. He brings her flours. She's a baker, get it? I know. I laughed for a long time, too.
FINAL GRADE: A+
Awesome.
Off in search of a wristwatch,
M.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Day Twenty-Five: Hercules
HERCULES
Starring:
-Tate Donovan
-Danny DeVito
-James Woods
-Susan Egan
-Rip Torn
Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker
Screenplay Credits: Ron Clements, John Musker, & Barry Johnson
MPAA Rating: G
Zeus is all happy because he’s the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy. All the Gods are assembled on Mount Olympus to welcome Hercules to their fold. The evil Hades arrives to check things out and make snide remarks before returning to Hell to ask the Fates whether or not Hercules will ruin his plan to release the Titans and dethrone Zeus. The Fates tell him that in twenty-odd years the planets will align, giving him the perfect opportunity to take down Zeus. But they warn him that if Hercules fights, Hades will fall.
Hades doesn’t mess around with the fates, so he sends his two comic relief devil henchmen (Pain and Panic) to sneak up to Mount Olympus and steal the child. Since Gods are immortals, Pain and Panic have to force the baby to drink every drop of a special potion to turn him mortal. Hercules starts chugging away and it looks like he’s going to drink it up, but a farmer and his wife come around the corner and spot the baby. This spooks the devils, who flee and let the bottle break. Baby Hercules did not drink the last drop, so he retained his godlike strength.
The farmer and his wife had no children, so they raised Hercules on their own. Fast-forward about fifteen years where Herc is ostracized by his peers because of his inability to control his freakish strength. Herc dreams of becoming a hero and getting a real hero’s welcome to a place where he belongs. He travels to Zeus’ temple, where the giant statue of his true father comes to life and tells him to go find Philoctetes – henceforth known as Phil-, a satyr who trained some of the world’s greatest heroes. Statue Zeus gives Hercules something to help him along his journey, a flying horse called Pegasus.
So Herc and Peg go find Phil, who gripes about having to train all these losers who couldn’t cut it as heroes like Jason and Achilles. But Herc is different, so Phil finally agrees to train him.
In a few years, Hercules is a buff, tough fighting machine and he’s ready to rescue some damsels and open up a can of hurt on mythical beasties. Herc, Phil and Pegasus head to Thebes, where Hercules saves Megara from the river guardian, an enormous centaur called Nessus. Their attraction is instant, but Meg brushes him off and leaves. Meg returns to her master, Hades, and tells him all about “wonderboy.” We learn that Meg sold her soul to Hades to save her former boyfriend’s life, but once she did the dude abandoned her for another woman.
Hades is furious that Hercules still lives, so he sets up a trap for him just outside the city limits. Hercules goes to battle the Hydra, eventually winning and gaining notoriety in Thebes as a hero. Although he’s now a celebrity and the spokesperson for numerous merchandising ventures, Zeus informs him that there is more to being a hero than simply being famous.
Hades sends Meg to learn Hercules’ weakness, but he has none for her to report. The two fall desperately in love, but Phil has discovered Meg’s secret and tries to warn Hercules. Herc and Phil fight before Phil gets upset and leaves. Hades now sees that Meg is Hercules’ one true weakness, so he uses her to trick Hercules into giving up his strength for one day to ensure her safety. Now completely mortal, Hercules can do nothing to stop Hades from releasing the Titans, who quickly take over Mount Olympus. Hades sends a Cyclops to kill Hercules once and for all. Meg escapes and runs to get Phil. She convinces him that Hercules is in trouble and the two run to his aid. At the last minute, Hercules defeats the Cyclops and a giant column falls on Meg, crushing her. Hades’ deal was that if Hercules gave up his powers, Meg wouldn’t get hurt. Since Meg has now been crushed to death, Herc gets his full strength back. He hurries to Mount Olympus to release the gods, crush the titans, and save the day.
Hercules heads to the underworld and offers to give his life in order to save Meg’s. Because of this willingness, he becomes a true hero and is given full-god status. Despite this, he chooses to remain a mortal on earth with Meg. Phil’s dream comes true when Zeus arranges a constellation of Hercules in the night sky and everyone looks up to exclaim, “Hey, look! That’s Phil’s boy!”
So it’s a happy ending all around -except for Satan, which is as it should be.
This movie came out in 1997, and I’ve always liked it. As far as Disney animation goes, this one deserves to be right there in the canon alongside such classics as SLEEPING BEAUTY and CINDERELLA.
Now, Meg is not a Disney princess. She’s actually about as far away from it as she could possibly be, considering she works for the devil, and all. Still, I always liked her better than most of Disney’s leading ladies because she actually has a lot of spunk. She has a great personality and a lot of passion, and she’s not the type to sit around waiting to be saved by some overgrown narcissist with too many muscles.
I’m going to give this one an A-, with the understanding that to me it’s in comparison with other kids movies, not necessarily films for grown people (I caught myself typing ‘adult movies,’ so I giggled, deleted it, and chose a better phrase).
Of in search of a narcissist with too many muscles,
M.
Starring:
-Tate Donovan
-Danny DeVito
-James Woods
-Susan Egan
-Rip Torn
Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker
Screenplay Credits: Ron Clements, John Musker, & Barry Johnson
MPAA Rating: G
Zeus is all happy because he’s the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy. All the Gods are assembled on Mount Olympus to welcome Hercules to their fold. The evil Hades arrives to check things out and make snide remarks before returning to Hell to ask the Fates whether or not Hercules will ruin his plan to release the Titans and dethrone Zeus. The Fates tell him that in twenty-odd years the planets will align, giving him the perfect opportunity to take down Zeus. But they warn him that if Hercules fights, Hades will fall.
Hades doesn’t mess around with the fates, so he sends his two comic relief devil henchmen (Pain and Panic) to sneak up to Mount Olympus and steal the child. Since Gods are immortals, Pain and Panic have to force the baby to drink every drop of a special potion to turn him mortal. Hercules starts chugging away and it looks like he’s going to drink it up, but a farmer and his wife come around the corner and spot the baby. This spooks the devils, who flee and let the bottle break. Baby Hercules did not drink the last drop, so he retained his godlike strength.
The farmer and his wife had no children, so they raised Hercules on their own. Fast-forward about fifteen years where Herc is ostracized by his peers because of his inability to control his freakish strength. Herc dreams of becoming a hero and getting a real hero’s welcome to a place where he belongs. He travels to Zeus’ temple, where the giant statue of his true father comes to life and tells him to go find Philoctetes – henceforth known as Phil-, a satyr who trained some of the world’s greatest heroes. Statue Zeus gives Hercules something to help him along his journey, a flying horse called Pegasus.
So Herc and Peg go find Phil, who gripes about having to train all these losers who couldn’t cut it as heroes like Jason and Achilles. But Herc is different, so Phil finally agrees to train him.
In a few years, Hercules is a buff, tough fighting machine and he’s ready to rescue some damsels and open up a can of hurt on mythical beasties. Herc, Phil and Pegasus head to Thebes, where Hercules saves Megara from the river guardian, an enormous centaur called Nessus. Their attraction is instant, but Meg brushes him off and leaves. Meg returns to her master, Hades, and tells him all about “wonderboy.” We learn that Meg sold her soul to Hades to save her former boyfriend’s life, but once she did the dude abandoned her for another woman.
Hades is furious that Hercules still lives, so he sets up a trap for him just outside the city limits. Hercules goes to battle the Hydra, eventually winning and gaining notoriety in Thebes as a hero. Although he’s now a celebrity and the spokesperson for numerous merchandising ventures, Zeus informs him that there is more to being a hero than simply being famous.
Hades sends Meg to learn Hercules’ weakness, but he has none for her to report. The two fall desperately in love, but Phil has discovered Meg’s secret and tries to warn Hercules. Herc and Phil fight before Phil gets upset and leaves. Hades now sees that Meg is Hercules’ one true weakness, so he uses her to trick Hercules into giving up his strength for one day to ensure her safety. Now completely mortal, Hercules can do nothing to stop Hades from releasing the Titans, who quickly take over Mount Olympus. Hades sends a Cyclops to kill Hercules once and for all. Meg escapes and runs to get Phil. She convinces him that Hercules is in trouble and the two run to his aid. At the last minute, Hercules defeats the Cyclops and a giant column falls on Meg, crushing her. Hades’ deal was that if Hercules gave up his powers, Meg wouldn’t get hurt. Since Meg has now been crushed to death, Herc gets his full strength back. He hurries to Mount Olympus to release the gods, crush the titans, and save the day.
Hercules heads to the underworld and offers to give his life in order to save Meg’s. Because of this willingness, he becomes a true hero and is given full-god status. Despite this, he chooses to remain a mortal on earth with Meg. Phil’s dream comes true when Zeus arranges a constellation of Hercules in the night sky and everyone looks up to exclaim, “Hey, look! That’s Phil’s boy!”
So it’s a happy ending all around -except for Satan, which is as it should be.
This movie came out in 1997, and I’ve always liked it. As far as Disney animation goes, this one deserves to be right there in the canon alongside such classics as SLEEPING BEAUTY and CINDERELLA.
Now, Meg is not a Disney princess. She’s actually about as far away from it as she could possibly be, considering she works for the devil, and all. Still, I always liked her better than most of Disney’s leading ladies because she actually has a lot of spunk. She has a great personality and a lot of passion, and she’s not the type to sit around waiting to be saved by some overgrown narcissist with too many muscles.
I’m going to give this one an A-, with the understanding that to me it’s in comparison with other kids movies, not necessarily films for grown people (I caught myself typing ‘adult movies,’ so I giggled, deleted it, and chose a better phrase).
Of in search of a narcissist with too many muscles,
M.
Day Twenty-Four: Mary Poppins
MARY POPPINS
Starring:
-Julie Andrews
-Dick van Dyke
Directed by: Robert Stevenson
Screenplay Credits: Bill Walsh & Don DaGradi
MPAA Rating: G
There’s a strange wind blowing at Number 17, Cherry Tree Lane. Jane and Michael Banks have run off from their latest nanny, and she’s not putting up with that crap anymore. Mrs. Banks returns home from her suffragette meeting to find the nanny leaving and begs her to stay in song. The nanny leaves right as George Banks arrives home from a long, rewarding day at the creepy bank where he works.
George isn’t happy to learn that the new nanny has abandoned them again, so the children toddle in to see him –in their adorable bathrobes- with an advertisement they’ve written to help him find a suitable nanny for them. Rosy cheeks, no warts, play games (all sorts), that kind of thing. George thinks this is absolute drivel and sends the children to bed before ripping up their advertisement and tossing it into the fireplace. As George and his wife continue to discuss the situation, the torn pieces mysteriously float up into the chimney.
The next day there is a long line of severe looking British nannies lined up along the sidewalk outside the Banks home. All are here to interview for the position. Suddenly, a strong wind comes up and blows them all away. Mary Poppins arrives and rings the bell. She’s a force to be reckoned with, and George has no clue how to handle her. She ends up interviewing him, basically, before giving herself the job and every second Tuesday off. Then she slides up the banister to see the children.
Jane and Michael are in awe of Mary, who pulls extraordinary things out of her bottomless carpetbag and can make the nursery clean itself simply by snapping her fingers. Mary sticks them in their cute little coats and hats (Why can’t children still dress like that? Especially American kids; they wear tee shirts that say ‘Pull My Finger.’ Sheesh.) and takes them on a fabulous outing to the park where they bump into Bert, who’s sort of a jack of all trades and Mary’s boyfriend.
Okay, they aren’t officially an item, but you can tell by the way they grin sneakily at each other when the children aren’t looking that they’ve got a history together. I bet they text all the time. Anyway, Bert has been making sidewalk drawings, so Mary takes them all inside one of the paintings to ride a magical carousel and rescue a fox and win a horse race before carrying them home again.
Mary’s put a song in the hearts of everyone in the house – except grumpy George, of course- and they all march around singing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” You may not believe this, but my spell check automatically recognized that as a word. Weird.
Mary takes Bert and the kids to see her Uncle Albert, who floats whenever he laughs and invites them all to join him for a tea party in mid-air. “I Love To Laugh” is actually one of my favorite songs in the entire movie, because you can’t listen to it without laughing along with it. Well, you probably can if you have no soul.
Speaking of the soulless, Mr. Banks is concerned that Mary is engaging the children in too much frivolity and unneeded tomfoolery. He starts complaining to her and tries to dismiss her, but she ignores him completely and manages to convince him he should take the kids on a tour of the bank. He does, and his boss Mr. Dawes (also played by Dick van Dyke) tries to force Michael into investing his tuppence before actually snatching it out of his hand. Michael pitches a fit, which leads the other customers to panic and start a run on the bank. Frightened, the children escape in the crowd. They run through the creepy streets where dogs bark at them and scary urchins lunge at them. At last they bump into Bert. They don’t recognize him at first, because he’s covered in soot.
“It just so happens that today I’m a chimneysweep.” – Bert
The children tell Bert about what happened at the bank. Bert sits them down and explains that their father doesn’t hate them.
“Look at it this way. You’ve got your mother to look after you. And Mary Poppins. And Constable Jones. And me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do?” – Bert
You will notice that I skipped over the entire “Feed the Birds” sequence. I had too. It makes me cry.
Bert takes the children home and sings his chimneysweep song. Since it’s Mary Poppins’ day off, Mrs. Banks has Bert stay to clean the chimney and look after the kids. Naturally, the fireplace is situated before a pristine white area rug. Heeheehee.
Mary Poppins arrives just in time to see Jane and Michael get sucked up the chimney.
Mary: There goes the other one.
Bert: Shall I go after them?
Mary: Well we can’t have them gallivanting around up there like kangaroos, can we?
So they all go up and bump into Bert’s chimneysweep pals, who do one of the coolest dances I’ve ever seen across the rooftops and chimneys of London. I remember dancing from couch to couch pretending to be a chimney sweep, but I was always a little scared for the guys because I didn’t want to them to slip and fall.
One thing I really like about this is Mary’s ability to fit in with anyone she’s around, whether they be cartoon people, or covered in soot. She treats everybody equally, and she doesn’t take any guff.
Anyway, the crazy neighbor whose house is a ship thinks the Hottentots are attacking London and fires off a bunch of fireworks to scare them away. The sweeps scatter for a few minutes before diving down the chimneys for cover. Naturally, they all tumble their sooty selves into the Banks living room (all across that pretty white rug) and continue to dance and sing. Mr. Banks arrives home to see these dirty men dancing with his wife and servants. The sweeps dance away happily into the streets after thanking Mr. Banks for a lovely time.
“Oh father! Every one of those sweeps shook your hand! You’re going to be the luckiest person in the world.” – Jane
Mr. Banks demands an explanation from Mary Poppins.
“First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear…I never explain anything.” – Mary
She takes the children upstairs and the telephone rings. It’s the boss, who wants Banks to return at nine, presumably to be fired. Mr. Banks wanders into the living room to bemoan his lot in song and blame Mary Poppins for all the chaos in his life. Bert gently counsels him in his terrible Cockney accent and dang, Dick van Dyke is a handsome fellow.
The children enter in their adorable pajamas to apologize. They give their father the tuppence.
“Will that make everything all right?” – Jane
Mr. Banks heads down to the creepy bank to face his superiors. After a brief discussion of the Boston Tea Party, the elderly banker’s son rips up Banks’ carnation, breaks his umbrella, and punches a hole in his hat. Banks takes this in stride, saying “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and telling the bankers a joke before dancing away.
The punch line of the joke finally hits the oldest banker, who starts to laugh before floating up into the air.
A change in the wind means that it’s time for Mary Poppins to go. The children tearfully beg her to stay. George, who has been gone all night, returns home singing with a homemade kite. Oh-oh-oh everybody goes to fly the kite.
The family holds hands and skips down the street together. Mary Poppins smiles at them from the nursery window. George runs into the bankers, who are also flying kites in the park. The son tells George that his father died laughing, so there’s room for a new partner.
Mary Poppins opens her umbrella and flies off into the sky. Bert spots her and says, “Goodbye, Mary Poppins. Don’t stay away too long.”
Stick around for the credits, where the role of “Mr. Dawes, Senior” is credited to “Navckid Keyd.” These letters magically rearrange themselves to spell “Dick van Dyke.” I love that.
This is one of the most imaginative movies I have ever seen. I do think it’s the kind of movie you have to grow up loving. It means a lot to me now because it meant a lot to me when I was little. I’m a sucker for the magic of soaring music and lyrical words.
This is generally my “I’m sick and I need to feel better” movie, but strangely I always cry when it watch it…most of the way through it, actually. I cry because the dad’s so mean, I cry when Bert’s sidewalk paintings get destroyed in the rain, I cry when it’s time to feed the birds, I cry when the elderly banker takes their tuppence and the dad lets him, I cry because the children get lost and the scary dogs and homeless women chase them, I cry when they all go fly kites, and I cry when Mary Poppins goes away, etc. I’m sure you catch my drift.
So, yes. I’m a college student who loves Mary Poppins, and I make no apologizes for that. After all, I never explain anything.
FINAL GRADE: A+
Off in search of a spoonful of sugar,
M.
Starring:
-Julie Andrews
-Dick van Dyke
Directed by: Robert Stevenson
Screenplay Credits: Bill Walsh & Don DaGradi
MPAA Rating: G
There’s a strange wind blowing at Number 17, Cherry Tree Lane. Jane and Michael Banks have run off from their latest nanny, and she’s not putting up with that crap anymore. Mrs. Banks returns home from her suffragette meeting to find the nanny leaving and begs her to stay in song. The nanny leaves right as George Banks arrives home from a long, rewarding day at the creepy bank where he works.
George isn’t happy to learn that the new nanny has abandoned them again, so the children toddle in to see him –in their adorable bathrobes- with an advertisement they’ve written to help him find a suitable nanny for them. Rosy cheeks, no warts, play games (all sorts), that kind of thing. George thinks this is absolute drivel and sends the children to bed before ripping up their advertisement and tossing it into the fireplace. As George and his wife continue to discuss the situation, the torn pieces mysteriously float up into the chimney.
The next day there is a long line of severe looking British nannies lined up along the sidewalk outside the Banks home. All are here to interview for the position. Suddenly, a strong wind comes up and blows them all away. Mary Poppins arrives and rings the bell. She’s a force to be reckoned with, and George has no clue how to handle her. She ends up interviewing him, basically, before giving herself the job and every second Tuesday off. Then she slides up the banister to see the children.
Jane and Michael are in awe of Mary, who pulls extraordinary things out of her bottomless carpetbag and can make the nursery clean itself simply by snapping her fingers. Mary sticks them in their cute little coats and hats (Why can’t children still dress like that? Especially American kids; they wear tee shirts that say ‘Pull My Finger.’ Sheesh.) and takes them on a fabulous outing to the park where they bump into Bert, who’s sort of a jack of all trades and Mary’s boyfriend.
Okay, they aren’t officially an item, but you can tell by the way they grin sneakily at each other when the children aren’t looking that they’ve got a history together. I bet they text all the time. Anyway, Bert has been making sidewalk drawings, so Mary takes them all inside one of the paintings to ride a magical carousel and rescue a fox and win a horse race before carrying them home again.
Mary’s put a song in the hearts of everyone in the house – except grumpy George, of course- and they all march around singing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” You may not believe this, but my spell check automatically recognized that as a word. Weird.
Mary takes Bert and the kids to see her Uncle Albert, who floats whenever he laughs and invites them all to join him for a tea party in mid-air. “I Love To Laugh” is actually one of my favorite songs in the entire movie, because you can’t listen to it without laughing along with it. Well, you probably can if you have no soul.
Speaking of the soulless, Mr. Banks is concerned that Mary is engaging the children in too much frivolity and unneeded tomfoolery. He starts complaining to her and tries to dismiss her, but she ignores him completely and manages to convince him he should take the kids on a tour of the bank. He does, and his boss Mr. Dawes (also played by Dick van Dyke) tries to force Michael into investing his tuppence before actually snatching it out of his hand. Michael pitches a fit, which leads the other customers to panic and start a run on the bank. Frightened, the children escape in the crowd. They run through the creepy streets where dogs bark at them and scary urchins lunge at them. At last they bump into Bert. They don’t recognize him at first, because he’s covered in soot.
“It just so happens that today I’m a chimneysweep.” – Bert
The children tell Bert about what happened at the bank. Bert sits them down and explains that their father doesn’t hate them.
“Look at it this way. You’ve got your mother to look after you. And Mary Poppins. And Constable Jones. And me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do?” – Bert
You will notice that I skipped over the entire “Feed the Birds” sequence. I had too. It makes me cry.
Bert takes the children home and sings his chimneysweep song. Since it’s Mary Poppins’ day off, Mrs. Banks has Bert stay to clean the chimney and look after the kids. Naturally, the fireplace is situated before a pristine white area rug. Heeheehee.
Mary Poppins arrives just in time to see Jane and Michael get sucked up the chimney.
Mary: There goes the other one.
Bert: Shall I go after them?
Mary: Well we can’t have them gallivanting around up there like kangaroos, can we?
So they all go up and bump into Bert’s chimneysweep pals, who do one of the coolest dances I’ve ever seen across the rooftops and chimneys of London. I remember dancing from couch to couch pretending to be a chimney sweep, but I was always a little scared for the guys because I didn’t want to them to slip and fall.
One thing I really like about this is Mary’s ability to fit in with anyone she’s around, whether they be cartoon people, or covered in soot. She treats everybody equally, and she doesn’t take any guff.
Anyway, the crazy neighbor whose house is a ship thinks the Hottentots are attacking London and fires off a bunch of fireworks to scare them away. The sweeps scatter for a few minutes before diving down the chimneys for cover. Naturally, they all tumble their sooty selves into the Banks living room (all across that pretty white rug) and continue to dance and sing. Mr. Banks arrives home to see these dirty men dancing with his wife and servants. The sweeps dance away happily into the streets after thanking Mr. Banks for a lovely time.
“Oh father! Every one of those sweeps shook your hand! You’re going to be the luckiest person in the world.” – Jane
Mr. Banks demands an explanation from Mary Poppins.
“First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear…I never explain anything.” – Mary
She takes the children upstairs and the telephone rings. It’s the boss, who wants Banks to return at nine, presumably to be fired. Mr. Banks wanders into the living room to bemoan his lot in song and blame Mary Poppins for all the chaos in his life. Bert gently counsels him in his terrible Cockney accent and dang, Dick van Dyke is a handsome fellow.
The children enter in their adorable pajamas to apologize. They give their father the tuppence.
“Will that make everything all right?” – Jane
Mr. Banks heads down to the creepy bank to face his superiors. After a brief discussion of the Boston Tea Party, the elderly banker’s son rips up Banks’ carnation, breaks his umbrella, and punches a hole in his hat. Banks takes this in stride, saying “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and telling the bankers a joke before dancing away.
The punch line of the joke finally hits the oldest banker, who starts to laugh before floating up into the air.
A change in the wind means that it’s time for Mary Poppins to go. The children tearfully beg her to stay. George, who has been gone all night, returns home singing with a homemade kite. Oh-oh-oh everybody goes to fly the kite.
The family holds hands and skips down the street together. Mary Poppins smiles at them from the nursery window. George runs into the bankers, who are also flying kites in the park. The son tells George that his father died laughing, so there’s room for a new partner.
Mary Poppins opens her umbrella and flies off into the sky. Bert spots her and says, “Goodbye, Mary Poppins. Don’t stay away too long.”
Stick around for the credits, where the role of “Mr. Dawes, Senior” is credited to “Navckid Keyd.” These letters magically rearrange themselves to spell “Dick van Dyke.” I love that.
This is one of the most imaginative movies I have ever seen. I do think it’s the kind of movie you have to grow up loving. It means a lot to me now because it meant a lot to me when I was little. I’m a sucker for the magic of soaring music and lyrical words.
This is generally my “I’m sick and I need to feel better” movie, but strangely I always cry when it watch it…most of the way through it, actually. I cry because the dad’s so mean, I cry when Bert’s sidewalk paintings get destroyed in the rain, I cry when it’s time to feed the birds, I cry when the elderly banker takes their tuppence and the dad lets him, I cry because the children get lost and the scary dogs and homeless women chase them, I cry when they all go fly kites, and I cry when Mary Poppins goes away, etc. I’m sure you catch my drift.
So, yes. I’m a college student who loves Mary Poppins, and I make no apologizes for that. After all, I never explain anything.
FINAL GRADE: A+
Off in search of a spoonful of sugar,
M.
Day Twenty-Three: The Women
THE WOMEN
Starring:
-Meg Ryan
-Annette Bening
-Eva Mendes
-Debra Messing
-Jada Pinkett Smith
-Candice Bergen
Directed by: Diane English
Screenplay Credits: Diane English
MPAA Rating: PG-13
If you like movies where Jada Pinkett Smith is a lesbian and women beat themselves up over their cheating dog husbands, then by all means, Netflix this one. If you have a brain in your head, say “thanks but no thanks” and don’t waste your time.
THE WOMEN is a remake of the 1939 film of the same name, which was directed by George Cukor. If you simply must watch a movie entitled THE WOMEN, go straight for the ’39 version… there’s far less bitch slapping.
Anyway, the 2008 version is about Mary Haines, who lives in a fancy house out in Connecticut with her cheating dog husband Steven, their eleven year old daughter Molly, and a couple of women staff members. Mary has just discovered that her husband is cheating on her with some slutty young tramp he met in the city. She bumps into the slutty young tramp time and time again, and they battle, but she never seems to manage to come out on top. Mary whines to her friends about this before finally going to her mother, Candace Bergen, who is this film’s only redeeming quality. Bergen is in sole possession of the only even remotely clever, interesting lines. Still, she isn’t entirely perfect, as she encourages her daughter to keep quiet about Steven’s indiscretion and silently hope he sees the light and comes back to her.
This is bullcrap. This whole movie is bullcrap. Now, I’m extremely biased, because I am a strong woman with a strict no-tolerance policy. One strike and you are out, buddy. I say this with confidence, knowing that I am not (and never plan to be) a cheating dog, so naturally I expect the same from anybody I’m seeing. The fact that this woman lets this horrible man string her along, and make her feel like a worthless sack of crap is totally disgusting to me. Yes, they’ve been married several years. Yes, they have a child together. Betrayal is betrayal. And it's interesting to me that throughout the course of the film, Mary is so desperate to win back her husband that she neglects their daughter. Call me crazy, but that's just plain lousy parenting.
Being all about women, the film naturally addresses pettiness, along with other sources of betrayal, and at one point the main BFFs are in a pretty bad tiff themselves.
In short, imagine everything that women ever complain about or struggle with… now add opening and closing credits. Congratulations. You have just summed up this movie.
This is an all female cast, which is a gimmick that gets really, really old in the first act. THE WOMEN is 114 minutes of self-absorbed whining. In its quest to empower women, it fails horribly. Need to feel good about yourself, ladies? Watch WAITRESS, or 9 TO 5. If you want to watch an ensemble of catty women with decadent plot twists and hilarious dialogue, watch reruns of SEX AND THE CITY. But please, never, ever, ever watch this movie. Just don’t.
FINAL GRADE: D
Frankly, the only reason I didn’t flunk it out completely is, this one is slightly better than SUPER FUZZ. But only slightly.
Off in search of something better,
M.
Starring:
-Meg Ryan
-Annette Bening
-Eva Mendes
-Debra Messing
-Jada Pinkett Smith
-Candice Bergen
Directed by: Diane English
Screenplay Credits: Diane English
MPAA Rating: PG-13
If you like movies where Jada Pinkett Smith is a lesbian and women beat themselves up over their cheating dog husbands, then by all means, Netflix this one. If you have a brain in your head, say “thanks but no thanks” and don’t waste your time.
THE WOMEN is a remake of the 1939 film of the same name, which was directed by George Cukor. If you simply must watch a movie entitled THE WOMEN, go straight for the ’39 version… there’s far less bitch slapping.
Anyway, the 2008 version is about Mary Haines, who lives in a fancy house out in Connecticut with her cheating dog husband Steven, their eleven year old daughter Molly, and a couple of women staff members. Mary has just discovered that her husband is cheating on her with some slutty young tramp he met in the city. She bumps into the slutty young tramp time and time again, and they battle, but she never seems to manage to come out on top. Mary whines to her friends about this before finally going to her mother, Candace Bergen, who is this film’s only redeeming quality. Bergen is in sole possession of the only even remotely clever, interesting lines. Still, she isn’t entirely perfect, as she encourages her daughter to keep quiet about Steven’s indiscretion and silently hope he sees the light and comes back to her.
This is bullcrap. This whole movie is bullcrap. Now, I’m extremely biased, because I am a strong woman with a strict no-tolerance policy. One strike and you are out, buddy. I say this with confidence, knowing that I am not (and never plan to be) a cheating dog, so naturally I expect the same from anybody I’m seeing. The fact that this woman lets this horrible man string her along, and make her feel like a worthless sack of crap is totally disgusting to me. Yes, they’ve been married several years. Yes, they have a child together. Betrayal is betrayal. And it's interesting to me that throughout the course of the film, Mary is so desperate to win back her husband that she neglects their daughter. Call me crazy, but that's just plain lousy parenting.
Being all about women, the film naturally addresses pettiness, along with other sources of betrayal, and at one point the main BFFs are in a pretty bad tiff themselves.
In short, imagine everything that women ever complain about or struggle with… now add opening and closing credits. Congratulations. You have just summed up this movie.
This is an all female cast, which is a gimmick that gets really, really old in the first act. THE WOMEN is 114 minutes of self-absorbed whining. In its quest to empower women, it fails horribly. Need to feel good about yourself, ladies? Watch WAITRESS, or 9 TO 5. If you want to watch an ensemble of catty women with decadent plot twists and hilarious dialogue, watch reruns of SEX AND THE CITY. But please, never, ever, ever watch this movie. Just don’t.
FINAL GRADE: D
Frankly, the only reason I didn’t flunk it out completely is, this one is slightly better than SUPER FUZZ. But only slightly.
Off in search of something better,
M.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Day Twenty-Two: The Bourne Ultimatum
THE BOURNE ULTIMATIUM
Starring:
-Matt Damon as Jason Bourne
-Julia Stiles as Nicky Parsons
-David Strathairn as Noah Vosen
-Joan Allen as Pamela Landy
-Albert Finney as Dr. Albert Hirsch
Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Screenplay Credits: Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns, & George Nolfi
MPAA Rating: PG-13 – violence and intense sequences of action
British reporter Simon Ross is doing a series of articles on the mysterious Jason Bourne and he’s just gotten the scoop on Operation Blackbriar from a source who refuses to go on record. Ross calls his editor and makes a single mention of Operation BlackBriar and the CIA instantly begins tracking him.
Jason meets up with Ross at the Waterloo Station, where Ross tells him that Blackbriar is a Treadstone upgrade, and that his source knows everything about Bourne, including who he was.
Noah Vosen, the (extremely attractive) CIA honcho in charge of running BlackBriar recognizes Jason helping Ross and assumes that he is the source. Vosen spots Bourne and gives the asset the green light to take both of them out. But Ross is stupid and thinks he knows how to take care of himself, so he makes a run for it and the CIA asset shoots him square in the head. Idiot. ALWAYS LISTEN TO JASON BOURNE, PEOPLE!
Bourne gets away, but not before emptying Ross’ pockets.
CIA director Ezra Kramer sends Landy in to Vosen’s operation, as she was the agent who was tracking Bourne six weeks earlier. It takes Landy all of five minutes to figure out that Ross’ contact is Neal Daniels, formerly involved in Treadstone and currently heading up the Blackbriar Operations in North Africa and Southern Europe.
Bourne also figures the source is Daniels after going through the information Ross was carrying when he was gunned down. He hurries to Daniels’ office in Madrid where he spots a photograph of two men, both of whom he recognizes as being present at his induction to the Treadstone program. He then takes out two of Vosen’s operatives and runs smack dab into Nicky Parsons. He got a gun on her when Vosen calls the office. Nicky answers and assures him that his men are alive. She lies and tells him she is not under duress, which gives Bourne the chance to hear a little insider information. Vosen urges Nicky to stay put, telling her that backup will arrive in one hour. He terminates the call and Nicky warns Bourne that backup will be there in three minutes. She tells him that she knows where Daniels is, and that her car is out back. As they exit the building, Nicky tells him that Daniels wired $100,000 to an account in Tangier earlier in the day.
They end up at a diner where Nicky tells Jason what she knows about Daniels. She then hints around that they once had a relationship, which doesn’t surprise me, as she seems better suited for him than Marie.
The CIA has tracked Daniels’ passport to a hotel in Tangier, rightly assuming that’s where Bourne is also headed.
Nicky learns that the asset sent for Daniels is Desh. Jason has her message him with instructions to pick up a new phone. He does, which allows Jason the opportunity to follow him to Daniels. The CIA folks are on to him, and Vosen orders the asset to take out Jason and Nicky once he’s finished with Daniels. Desh manages to kill Daniels with a well-placed bomb, and although the blast knocks Jason down, he pops right back up and heads out after Desh like James Bond shaking off a heart attack. Bourne eventually catches up with Desh, who has been chasing Nicky. They wrestle around a while, occasionally hitting each other with books and candlesticks before Bourne finally takes him out. Bourne then swipes his phone and tosses it to Nicky.
“Code it in. We need to be dead.” – Jason
Vosen calls Ezra to tell him that Nicky and Jason are dead. We learn that the only reason Ezra sent Landy to work with the team was so she could be the scapegoat if anything went wrong with the mission.
Jason tells Nicky a little about Marie before telling her she has to run. Later he comes up on her dying her hair in the sink and chopping it off. He looks at her a moment, obviously thinking about Marie. With a wistful look and her new, unflattering haircut, she goes into hiding.
Jason pays a guy off to get a look at Daniels’ charred briefcase and finds the address of the secret CIA hidey-hole in New York City, where Vosen heads Blackbriar. Vosen discovers that Desh is dead. Separately, Landy discovers that Jason is alive and is using one of his early Treadstone identities. Landy thinks he’s trying to communicate with her, so she communicates back.
The next scene is exactly like the final one in the second movie. Jason is camped out in a building across the street from Vosen’s office. He calls Landy’s cell phone and Vosen hears the call. Landy does her apology thing, then thanks him for the incriminating tape against Abbott. She then tells him his real name – David Webb- and his birth date, 4-15-71. He tells her, once again, to get some rest because she looks tired.
Landy exits the building and goes to meet Bourne. Vosen and his men are on her. Jason uses this opportunity to break into Vosen’s office and steal the classified Blackbriar documents from his safe. Vosen sends an asset after Bourne, who is headed to meet Landy at 415 East 71st street (recognize Webb’s “birth date”?). This is the address of the training facility where Dr. Albert Hirsch was in charge of breaking and preparing the Treadstone operatives. Vosen calls Hirsch to warn him that Bourne is coming.
There’s another huge car chase and too many crunches to count, but when the asset crashes – alive but immobilized- Bourne walks away without killing him. Bourne meets Landy at the address she gave him and hands her a bag with all the documents he swiped inside. She warns him that Vosen is already on the way, then quickly goes to fax all the documents. Luckily, she gets them all done before Vosen finds her.
Jason finds Hirsch, who fills in the details. Bourne was Captain David Webb and he volunteered to be the first person in the program, believing that he would be saving American lives.
“You chose right here to become Jason Bourne.” – Hirsch
Bourne remembers being forced to kill a man in the training room before finally being admitted into the Treadstone program.
“I remember everything. I’m no longer Jason Bourne.” – Jason
Vosen’s agents arrive and Jason evades them by racing to the roof. He hears a gun click and looks up to see the asset whose life he spared earlier.
“Do you even know why you’re supposed to kill me? Look at us. Look at what they make you give.” – Jason
See what he did there? He quoted the asset from the first movie’s dying words. Agents, including Vosen, burst onto the roof, guns drawn. Jason jumps off into the East River and Vosen’s gun goes off. It’s difficult to tell whether or not Bourne has been hit, but we do see him floating lifelessly in the water, which is reminiscent of how we first found him in THE BOURNE INDENTITY.
Time passes.
We learn that Ezra Kramer is under investigation, and that Vosen and Hirsch have already been arrested. Nicky is watching this news story on TV, and she really perks up when they mention David Webb. According to the news program, Webb was shot and fell ten stories into the river, but wasn’t found after a ten-day search. Nicky grins really creepily and we see David Jason Bourne Webb or
whoever he is now swimming away. Hooray!
I knew in the first ten minutes of the movie that I was going to like this one better than the second film. This one is awesome straight out of the gate. Now after finishing the entire series, I’m fairly certain that this one is my favorite. The camerawork has been criticized before as being too shaky, or distracting to the viewer, but I didn’t find this to be the case. If anything, the camerawork really draws your attention to what you need to be seeing at any given moment. The landscape shots are incredible, but my favorites are those really interesting ones, like when a character is filmed from afar and framed by something unusual in the scene.
There is speculation that a fourth Bourne movie will be filmed this summer for a 2011 release, but I will be a little sad if that is the case. I think the trilogy has worked itself to a natural conclusion. Why mess with a good thing? Jason Bourne or David Webb or whoever he is, is free now. That’s what’s really fun about the end of this movie; it came full circle. He started out floating around in the water with no identity, and that’s how he ended it. Personally, I’d rather not know anything more about Bourne’s whereabouts. I want to be surprised if I come home to my apartment one day and find him sitting in my living room. He seems to do that to every person he comes in contact with. Why not me? And while he’s here, I’ll get him to beat up on my rude upstairs neighbors and play spy games with me. I don’t want to be involved in the actual spy games, mind you. But we could pretend. What’s that called? Role playing?
Ohhh, yeah.
FINAL GRADE: A
Off in search of fuzzy handcuffs,
M.
P.S. Thanks to MSJ -the phantom wood worker- for supplying the last several movies. If anybody deserves a Catherine, it's you. Now get back to work!
Starring:
-Matt Damon as Jason Bourne
-Julia Stiles as Nicky Parsons
-David Strathairn as Noah Vosen
-Joan Allen as Pamela Landy
-Albert Finney as Dr. Albert Hirsch
Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Screenplay Credits: Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns, & George Nolfi
MPAA Rating: PG-13 – violence and intense sequences of action
British reporter Simon Ross is doing a series of articles on the mysterious Jason Bourne and he’s just gotten the scoop on Operation Blackbriar from a source who refuses to go on record. Ross calls his editor and makes a single mention of Operation BlackBriar and the CIA instantly begins tracking him.
Jason meets up with Ross at the Waterloo Station, where Ross tells him that Blackbriar is a Treadstone upgrade, and that his source knows everything about Bourne, including who he was.
Noah Vosen, the (extremely attractive) CIA honcho in charge of running BlackBriar recognizes Jason helping Ross and assumes that he is the source. Vosen spots Bourne and gives the asset the green light to take both of them out. But Ross is stupid and thinks he knows how to take care of himself, so he makes a run for it and the CIA asset shoots him square in the head. Idiot. ALWAYS LISTEN TO JASON BOURNE, PEOPLE!
Bourne gets away, but not before emptying Ross’ pockets.
CIA director Ezra Kramer sends Landy in to Vosen’s operation, as she was the agent who was tracking Bourne six weeks earlier. It takes Landy all of five minutes to figure out that Ross’ contact is Neal Daniels, formerly involved in Treadstone and currently heading up the Blackbriar Operations in North Africa and Southern Europe.
Bourne also figures the source is Daniels after going through the information Ross was carrying when he was gunned down. He hurries to Daniels’ office in Madrid where he spots a photograph of two men, both of whom he recognizes as being present at his induction to the Treadstone program. He then takes out two of Vosen’s operatives and runs smack dab into Nicky Parsons. He got a gun on her when Vosen calls the office. Nicky answers and assures him that his men are alive. She lies and tells him she is not under duress, which gives Bourne the chance to hear a little insider information. Vosen urges Nicky to stay put, telling her that backup will arrive in one hour. He terminates the call and Nicky warns Bourne that backup will be there in three minutes. She tells him that she knows where Daniels is, and that her car is out back. As they exit the building, Nicky tells him that Daniels wired $100,000 to an account in Tangier earlier in the day.
They end up at a diner where Nicky tells Jason what she knows about Daniels. She then hints around that they once had a relationship, which doesn’t surprise me, as she seems better suited for him than Marie.
The CIA has tracked Daniels’ passport to a hotel in Tangier, rightly assuming that’s where Bourne is also headed.
Nicky learns that the asset sent for Daniels is Desh. Jason has her message him with instructions to pick up a new phone. He does, which allows Jason the opportunity to follow him to Daniels. The CIA folks are on to him, and Vosen orders the asset to take out Jason and Nicky once he’s finished with Daniels. Desh manages to kill Daniels with a well-placed bomb, and although the blast knocks Jason down, he pops right back up and heads out after Desh like James Bond shaking off a heart attack. Bourne eventually catches up with Desh, who has been chasing Nicky. They wrestle around a while, occasionally hitting each other with books and candlesticks before Bourne finally takes him out. Bourne then swipes his phone and tosses it to Nicky.
“Code it in. We need to be dead.” – Jason
Vosen calls Ezra to tell him that Nicky and Jason are dead. We learn that the only reason Ezra sent Landy to work with the team was so she could be the scapegoat if anything went wrong with the mission.
Jason tells Nicky a little about Marie before telling her she has to run. Later he comes up on her dying her hair in the sink and chopping it off. He looks at her a moment, obviously thinking about Marie. With a wistful look and her new, unflattering haircut, she goes into hiding.
Jason pays a guy off to get a look at Daniels’ charred briefcase and finds the address of the secret CIA hidey-hole in New York City, where Vosen heads Blackbriar. Vosen discovers that Desh is dead. Separately, Landy discovers that Jason is alive and is using one of his early Treadstone identities. Landy thinks he’s trying to communicate with her, so she communicates back.
The next scene is exactly like the final one in the second movie. Jason is camped out in a building across the street from Vosen’s office. He calls Landy’s cell phone and Vosen hears the call. Landy does her apology thing, then thanks him for the incriminating tape against Abbott. She then tells him his real name – David Webb- and his birth date, 4-15-71. He tells her, once again, to get some rest because she looks tired.
Landy exits the building and goes to meet Bourne. Vosen and his men are on her. Jason uses this opportunity to break into Vosen’s office and steal the classified Blackbriar documents from his safe. Vosen sends an asset after Bourne, who is headed to meet Landy at 415 East 71st street (recognize Webb’s “birth date”?). This is the address of the training facility where Dr. Albert Hirsch was in charge of breaking and preparing the Treadstone operatives. Vosen calls Hirsch to warn him that Bourne is coming.
There’s another huge car chase and too many crunches to count, but when the asset crashes – alive but immobilized- Bourne walks away without killing him. Bourne meets Landy at the address she gave him and hands her a bag with all the documents he swiped inside. She warns him that Vosen is already on the way, then quickly goes to fax all the documents. Luckily, she gets them all done before Vosen finds her.
Jason finds Hirsch, who fills in the details. Bourne was Captain David Webb and he volunteered to be the first person in the program, believing that he would be saving American lives.
“You chose right here to become Jason Bourne.” – Hirsch
Bourne remembers being forced to kill a man in the training room before finally being admitted into the Treadstone program.
“I remember everything. I’m no longer Jason Bourne.” – Jason
Vosen’s agents arrive and Jason evades them by racing to the roof. He hears a gun click and looks up to see the asset whose life he spared earlier.
“Do you even know why you’re supposed to kill me? Look at us. Look at what they make you give.” – Jason
See what he did there? He quoted the asset from the first movie’s dying words. Agents, including Vosen, burst onto the roof, guns drawn. Jason jumps off into the East River and Vosen’s gun goes off. It’s difficult to tell whether or not Bourne has been hit, but we do see him floating lifelessly in the water, which is reminiscent of how we first found him in THE BOURNE INDENTITY.
Time passes.
We learn that Ezra Kramer is under investigation, and that Vosen and Hirsch have already been arrested. Nicky is watching this news story on TV, and she really perks up when they mention David Webb. According to the news program, Webb was shot and fell ten stories into the river, but wasn’t found after a ten-day search. Nicky grins really creepily and we see David Jason Bourne Webb or
whoever he is now swimming away. Hooray!
I knew in the first ten minutes of the movie that I was going to like this one better than the second film. This one is awesome straight out of the gate. Now after finishing the entire series, I’m fairly certain that this one is my favorite. The camerawork has been criticized before as being too shaky, or distracting to the viewer, but I didn’t find this to be the case. If anything, the camerawork really draws your attention to what you need to be seeing at any given moment. The landscape shots are incredible, but my favorites are those really interesting ones, like when a character is filmed from afar and framed by something unusual in the scene.
There is speculation that a fourth Bourne movie will be filmed this summer for a 2011 release, but I will be a little sad if that is the case. I think the trilogy has worked itself to a natural conclusion. Why mess with a good thing? Jason Bourne or David Webb or whoever he is, is free now. That’s what’s really fun about the end of this movie; it came full circle. He started out floating around in the water with no identity, and that’s how he ended it. Personally, I’d rather not know anything more about Bourne’s whereabouts. I want to be surprised if I come home to my apartment one day and find him sitting in my living room. He seems to do that to every person he comes in contact with. Why not me? And while he’s here, I’ll get him to beat up on my rude upstairs neighbors and play spy games with me. I don’t want to be involved in the actual spy games, mind you. But we could pretend. What’s that called? Role playing?
Ohhh, yeah.
FINAL GRADE: A
Off in search of fuzzy handcuffs,
M.
P.S. Thanks to MSJ -the phantom wood worker- for supplying the last several movies. If anybody deserves a Catherine, it's you. Now get back to work!
Day Twenty-One: The Bourne Supremacy
THE BOURNE SUPREMACY
Starring:
-Matt Damon as Jason Bourne
-Franka Potente as Marie
- Brian Cox as Ward Abbott
-Joan Allen as Pamela Landy
-Julia Stiles as Nicolette Parsons
Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Screenplay Credits: Tony Gilroy & Brian Helgeland
MPAA Rating: PG-13 – violence, intense action, and brief language
A couple of years have passed since Jason Bourne learned he was a CIA assassin, and he continues to regain his memory through occasionally violent flashbacks and dreams. Jason and Marie are living together in Goa, India. Marie is blonde now, so she doesn’t look as severe as she did in the first film.
In Virginia’s big CIA office, Director Pamela Landy is overseeing one of her agents paying $3 million for the Neski Files, documents about $20 million that was stolen from the CIA seven years earlier.
Cut to a basement in Berlin were the million-dollar Neski swap is going down. A Russian assassin named Kirill has planted two bombs, one on the mainline and one on the subline. He rigs the second bomb to malfunction. When the first bomb goes off, Kirill kills both men and swipes the Neski documents. He then delivers them to his boss, Russian oil tycoon Yuri Gretkov.
Back in India, Jason spots a suspicious looking man in town and, sure enough, the man is asking around for him. Jason grabs Marie and they start careening through town trying to get away. The bad guy stays right behind them, eventually managing to shoot and kill Marie. The car flies off the bridge and Jason struggles to get Marie’s body out. He tries to do underwater CPR, which is weird, and of course he is unsuccessful. She floats away all creepy looking and the bad guy thinks he’s killed Bourne and leaves.
I was never overly attached to Marie, so I’m not torn up that they decided to kill her. This makes Bourne a little more like Bond… he can’t hold on to the same woman for very long.
A fingerprint is found on the bomb that failed to detonate, and that print belongs to none other than Jason Bourne. There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark…
Jason burns all of Marie’s passports and pictures and things, then travels to Naples, Italy. Landy receives clearance to pilfer through the Treadstone files, and she discovers that Jason is suffering from amnesia, and that Conklin was killed for letting Treadstone get out of hand.
Pam thinks that Conklin and Jason were in cahoots together and are somehow connected to the Neski documents. Oh, Pam. You’ve got it all wrong.
Fun fact: Most people named Pam are trashy. I speak from personal experience.
Landy and Ward interrogate Nicky Parsons. They realize that she knows more about the whole business than they do, so they drag her off to Berlin with them. Gee, I hope she didn’t have dinner plans.
Jason thinks the Treadstone folks are still after him and goes to interrogate the last remaining member of the team at his house. They get into a big, bloody fight and Bourne strangles the guy to death. Jason rigs the place to explode and gets the heck out of dodge.
Jason manages to track Landy to the Berlin Westin Hotel. He follows her to the local CIA station and hides a safe distance away before telephoning her and agreeing to meet … but only with an agent he trusts. Landy agrees to this and Bourne chooses Nicky. Ward warns Landy not to let Nicky go, but she ignores him and sends her out anyway. Bourne snatches Nicky and evades the surrounding agents.
Bourne questions Nicky about what’s going on and learns that Abbott was Conklin’s boss. Since she’s wearing a bug, Landy hears their whole conversation. Landy makes the decision to release Bourne’s photo to the local police. Boy, this is all just one big misunderstanding.
Bourne starts looking up stuff about Neski online. Supposedly, Neski was murdered by his wife, who then committed suicide.
CIA boy Danny has returned to the site of the bombing. He’s figured out that the second bomb was unnecessary, and he thinks that Bourne didn’t have anything to do with the murders. Abbott surprises everybody by knifing the kid to death.
Meanwhile, Bourne has broken into the hotel room where the Neskis were murdered. Vivid flashbacks confirm it was he who killed them. Back at the front desk, the hotel clerk recognizes Bourne’s photograph on a wanted poster and telephones the police. They arrive quickly, but Bourne evades them. Obviously. Is there anyone he can’t evade? No.
Landy and two of her guys make it to the Neski hotel room and look around for a few minutes before receiving word that Danny’s body has been found. Landy instantly suspects Abbott and gets to his hotel to confront him.
Abbott calls Gretkov to tell him that Bourne is still alive. He says the plan can still be salvaged, but Bourne has to be taken out. He believes that Bourne can finger them as coconspirators in the $20 million theft. Gretkov tells Abbott to buzz off and hangs up.
“I’m afraid, Ward, the time has come for us to part company.” – Gretkov
Suddenly, Jason comes creeping out of the shadows. He refuses to kill Abbott out of respect for Marie. Jason leaves and Landy arrives. She enters the room to find Abbott holding a gun. Abbott tells Landy that Danny was collateral damage, and that he isn’t sorry. Then he shoots himself. Good. I never liked him, anyway.
Bourne’s a smart cookie and he taped his last exchange with Abbott and mailed it to Landy. Then he boards a train to Moscow to try and find Neski’s daughter. Russian police start after him, then Kirill joins the party and once again it seems like everybody on the planet wants to kill Jason Bourne. Can’t this guy catch a break?
Kirill shoots Bourne, so he ducks into a dollar store to swipe some stuff, hops into a random cab and doctors his wound as he drives away. There are maybe ten police cars and Kirill chasing him, and this might be one of the longest car chases I have ever seen. Anyway, here’s the reader’s digest version: Bourne forces Kirill’s car into a concrete median, then watches him wheeze his last few breaths before walking away.
Gretkov is arrested by the Russian police after Landy gives them the tape that Bourne sent her, implicating him in the robbery and the Neskis’ murder. Neski’s daughter returns to her apartment to find Bourne sitting there. He tells her that he was the man who killed her parents. He apologizes and leaves.
“When what you love gets taken from you, you want to know the truth.” – Jason
Cut to New York City, where Bourne calls Landy on her cell. Landy wanted to thank him for supplying the tape. She apologizes for everything before telling him his real name, David Webb, his birth date, 4-15-71, and his home state, Missouri.
“Get some rest, Pam. You look tired.” - Jason
Again we end with a perfect setup to a follow-up movie, which is- of course- exactly what the filmmakers wanted. This one just didn’t do it for me and I’m not sure why. I do love all the times when Bourne is watching people and they have no idea, then he clues them in and they look around all alarmed and confused. That’s just funny to me.
I could be mistaken, but it seems like this one jumped around a lot more than the first one did. It was a little harder to follow, and it took me longer to get into. I would like to have seen more of Nicky Parsons, mainly because she strikes me as an interesting character, and I don’t think she’s been explored fully enough.
I guess I liked it, but certainly not as well as I liked the first one. At this point I do feel kind of bad for Marie, but more than that I’m still torn up about the dog murder in the first film. What can I say? Women hold grudges.
FINAL GRADE: B
Off in search of David Webb,
M.
Starring:
-Matt Damon as Jason Bourne
-Franka Potente as Marie
- Brian Cox as Ward Abbott
-Joan Allen as Pamela Landy
-Julia Stiles as Nicolette Parsons
Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Screenplay Credits: Tony Gilroy & Brian Helgeland
MPAA Rating: PG-13 – violence, intense action, and brief language
A couple of years have passed since Jason Bourne learned he was a CIA assassin, and he continues to regain his memory through occasionally violent flashbacks and dreams. Jason and Marie are living together in Goa, India. Marie is blonde now, so she doesn’t look as severe as she did in the first film.
In Virginia’s big CIA office, Director Pamela Landy is overseeing one of her agents paying $3 million for the Neski Files, documents about $20 million that was stolen from the CIA seven years earlier.
Cut to a basement in Berlin were the million-dollar Neski swap is going down. A Russian assassin named Kirill has planted two bombs, one on the mainline and one on the subline. He rigs the second bomb to malfunction. When the first bomb goes off, Kirill kills both men and swipes the Neski documents. He then delivers them to his boss, Russian oil tycoon Yuri Gretkov.
Back in India, Jason spots a suspicious looking man in town and, sure enough, the man is asking around for him. Jason grabs Marie and they start careening through town trying to get away. The bad guy stays right behind them, eventually managing to shoot and kill Marie. The car flies off the bridge and Jason struggles to get Marie’s body out. He tries to do underwater CPR, which is weird, and of course he is unsuccessful. She floats away all creepy looking and the bad guy thinks he’s killed Bourne and leaves.
I was never overly attached to Marie, so I’m not torn up that they decided to kill her. This makes Bourne a little more like Bond… he can’t hold on to the same woman for very long.
A fingerprint is found on the bomb that failed to detonate, and that print belongs to none other than Jason Bourne. There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark…
Jason burns all of Marie’s passports and pictures and things, then travels to Naples, Italy. Landy receives clearance to pilfer through the Treadstone files, and she discovers that Jason is suffering from amnesia, and that Conklin was killed for letting Treadstone get out of hand.
Pam thinks that Conklin and Jason were in cahoots together and are somehow connected to the Neski documents. Oh, Pam. You’ve got it all wrong.
Fun fact: Most people named Pam are trashy. I speak from personal experience.
Landy and Ward interrogate Nicky Parsons. They realize that she knows more about the whole business than they do, so they drag her off to Berlin with them. Gee, I hope she didn’t have dinner plans.
Jason thinks the Treadstone folks are still after him and goes to interrogate the last remaining member of the team at his house. They get into a big, bloody fight and Bourne strangles the guy to death. Jason rigs the place to explode and gets the heck out of dodge.
Jason manages to track Landy to the Berlin Westin Hotel. He follows her to the local CIA station and hides a safe distance away before telephoning her and agreeing to meet … but only with an agent he trusts. Landy agrees to this and Bourne chooses Nicky. Ward warns Landy not to let Nicky go, but she ignores him and sends her out anyway. Bourne snatches Nicky and evades the surrounding agents.
Bourne questions Nicky about what’s going on and learns that Abbott was Conklin’s boss. Since she’s wearing a bug, Landy hears their whole conversation. Landy makes the decision to release Bourne’s photo to the local police. Boy, this is all just one big misunderstanding.
Bourne starts looking up stuff about Neski online. Supposedly, Neski was murdered by his wife, who then committed suicide.
CIA boy Danny has returned to the site of the bombing. He’s figured out that the second bomb was unnecessary, and he thinks that Bourne didn’t have anything to do with the murders. Abbott surprises everybody by knifing the kid to death.
Meanwhile, Bourne has broken into the hotel room where the Neskis were murdered. Vivid flashbacks confirm it was he who killed them. Back at the front desk, the hotel clerk recognizes Bourne’s photograph on a wanted poster and telephones the police. They arrive quickly, but Bourne evades them. Obviously. Is there anyone he can’t evade? No.
Landy and two of her guys make it to the Neski hotel room and look around for a few minutes before receiving word that Danny’s body has been found. Landy instantly suspects Abbott and gets to his hotel to confront him.
Abbott calls Gretkov to tell him that Bourne is still alive. He says the plan can still be salvaged, but Bourne has to be taken out. He believes that Bourne can finger them as coconspirators in the $20 million theft. Gretkov tells Abbott to buzz off and hangs up.
“I’m afraid, Ward, the time has come for us to part company.” – Gretkov
Suddenly, Jason comes creeping out of the shadows. He refuses to kill Abbott out of respect for Marie. Jason leaves and Landy arrives. She enters the room to find Abbott holding a gun. Abbott tells Landy that Danny was collateral damage, and that he isn’t sorry. Then he shoots himself. Good. I never liked him, anyway.
Bourne’s a smart cookie and he taped his last exchange with Abbott and mailed it to Landy. Then he boards a train to Moscow to try and find Neski’s daughter. Russian police start after him, then Kirill joins the party and once again it seems like everybody on the planet wants to kill Jason Bourne. Can’t this guy catch a break?
Kirill shoots Bourne, so he ducks into a dollar store to swipe some stuff, hops into a random cab and doctors his wound as he drives away. There are maybe ten police cars and Kirill chasing him, and this might be one of the longest car chases I have ever seen. Anyway, here’s the reader’s digest version: Bourne forces Kirill’s car into a concrete median, then watches him wheeze his last few breaths before walking away.
Gretkov is arrested by the Russian police after Landy gives them the tape that Bourne sent her, implicating him in the robbery and the Neskis’ murder. Neski’s daughter returns to her apartment to find Bourne sitting there. He tells her that he was the man who killed her parents. He apologizes and leaves.
“When what you love gets taken from you, you want to know the truth.” – Jason
Cut to New York City, where Bourne calls Landy on her cell. Landy wanted to thank him for supplying the tape. She apologizes for everything before telling him his real name, David Webb, his birth date, 4-15-71, and his home state, Missouri.
“Get some rest, Pam. You look tired.” - Jason
Again we end with a perfect setup to a follow-up movie, which is- of course- exactly what the filmmakers wanted. This one just didn’t do it for me and I’m not sure why. I do love all the times when Bourne is watching people and they have no idea, then he clues them in and they look around all alarmed and confused. That’s just funny to me.
I could be mistaken, but it seems like this one jumped around a lot more than the first one did. It was a little harder to follow, and it took me longer to get into. I would like to have seen more of Nicky Parsons, mainly because she strikes me as an interesting character, and I don’t think she’s been explored fully enough.
I guess I liked it, but certainly not as well as I liked the first one. At this point I do feel kind of bad for Marie, but more than that I’m still torn up about the dog murder in the first film. What can I say? Women hold grudges.
FINAL GRADE: B
Off in search of David Webb,
M.
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