Day Twenty-Five: Hercules

HERCULES

Starring:
-Tate Donovan
-Danny DeVito
-James Woods
-Susan Egan
-Rip Torn

Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker

Screenplay Credits: Ron Clements, John Musker, & Barry Johnson

MPAA Rating: G


Zeus is all happy because he’s the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy. All the Gods are assembled on Mount Olympus to welcome Hercules to their fold. The evil Hades arrives to check things out and make snide remarks before returning to Hell to ask the Fates whether or not Hercules will ruin his plan to release the Titans and dethrone Zeus. The Fates tell him that in twenty-odd years the planets will align, giving him the perfect opportunity to take down Zeus. But they warn him that if Hercules fights, Hades will fall.

Hades doesn’t mess around with the fates, so he sends his two comic relief devil henchmen (Pain and Panic) to sneak up to Mount Olympus and steal the child. Since Gods are immortals, Pain and Panic have to force the baby to drink every drop of a special potion to turn him mortal. Hercules starts chugging away and it looks like he’s going to drink it up, but a farmer and his wife come around the corner and spot the baby. This spooks the devils, who flee and let the bottle break. Baby Hercules did not drink the last drop, so he retained his godlike strength.

The farmer and his wife had no children, so they raised Hercules on their own. Fast-forward about fifteen years where Herc is ostracized by his peers because of his inability to control his freakish strength. Herc dreams of becoming a hero and getting a real hero’s welcome to a place where he belongs. He travels to Zeus’ temple, where the giant statue of his true father comes to life and tells him to go find Philoctetes – henceforth known as Phil-, a satyr who trained some of the world’s greatest heroes. Statue Zeus gives Hercules something to help him along his journey, a flying horse called Pegasus.

So Herc and Peg go find Phil, who gripes about having to train all these losers who couldn’t cut it as heroes like Jason and Achilles. But Herc is different, so Phil finally agrees to train him.

In a few years, Hercules is a buff, tough fighting machine and he’s ready to rescue some damsels and open up a can of hurt on mythical beasties. Herc, Phil and Pegasus head to Thebes, where Hercules saves Megara from the river guardian, an enormous centaur called Nessus. Their attraction is instant, but Meg brushes him off and leaves. Meg returns to her master, Hades, and tells him all about “wonderboy.” We learn that Meg sold her soul to Hades to save her former boyfriend’s life, but once she did the dude abandoned her for another woman.

Hades is furious that Hercules still lives, so he sets up a trap for him just outside the city limits. Hercules goes to battle the Hydra, eventually winning and gaining notoriety in Thebes as a hero. Although he’s now a celebrity and the spokesperson for numerous merchandising ventures, Zeus informs him that there is more to being a hero than simply being famous.

Hades sends Meg to learn Hercules’ weakness, but he has none for her to report. The two fall desperately in love, but Phil has discovered Meg’s secret and tries to warn Hercules. Herc and Phil fight before Phil gets upset and leaves. Hades now sees that Meg is Hercules’ one true weakness, so he uses her to trick Hercules into giving up his strength for one day to ensure her safety. Now completely mortal, Hercules can do nothing to stop Hades from releasing the Titans, who quickly take over Mount Olympus. Hades sends a Cyclops to kill Hercules once and for all. Meg escapes and runs to get Phil. She convinces him that Hercules is in trouble and the two run to his aid. At the last minute, Hercules defeats the Cyclops and a giant column falls on Meg, crushing her. Hades’ deal was that if Hercules gave up his powers, Meg wouldn’t get hurt. Since Meg has now been crushed to death, Herc gets his full strength back. He hurries to Mount Olympus to release the gods, crush the titans, and save the day.

Hercules heads to the underworld and offers to give his life in order to save Meg’s. Because of this willingness, he becomes a true hero and is given full-god status. Despite this, he chooses to remain a mortal on earth with Meg. Phil’s dream comes true when Zeus arranges a constellation of Hercules in the night sky and everyone looks up to exclaim, “Hey, look! That’s Phil’s boy!”

So it’s a happy ending all around -except for Satan, which is as it should be.

This movie came out in 1997, and I’ve always liked it. As far as Disney animation goes, this one deserves to be right there in the canon alongside such classics as SLEEPING BEAUTY and CINDERELLA.

Now, Meg is not a Disney princess. She’s actually about as far away from it as she could possibly be, considering she works for the devil, and all. Still, I always liked her better than most of Disney’s leading ladies because she actually has a lot of spunk. She has a great personality and a lot of passion, and she’s not the type to sit around waiting to be saved by some overgrown narcissist with too many muscles.

I’m going to give this one an A-, with the understanding that to me it’s in comparison with other kids movies, not necessarily films for grown people (I caught myself typing ‘adult movies,’ so I giggled, deleted it, and chose a better phrase).

Of in search of a narcissist with too many muscles,

M.