Day Five: The Misfits

THE MISFITS

Starring:
-Clark Gable
-Marilyn Monroe
-Montgomery Clift
-Eli Wallach
-Thelma Ritter

Directed by: John Huston

Screenplay Credits: Arthur Miller

MPAA Rating: Not Rated

A Reno mechanic (Wallach) arrives to check the dents in a fancy new car. Said car was a divorce gift for Roslyn Tabor from her estranged husband of two years, whom she is mere moments from divorcing. Roslyn rehearses what the lawyer told her to say in court with her friend Isabel, but struggles to remember all the flowery language.

"Just say it. It doesn't have to be true. This isn't a quiz show; it's only a court." - Isabel

Eli gives the gals a lift into town and Roslyn runs into her soon to be ex on the courthouse steps. He tries to persuade her to change her mind, but Roslyn will hear none of it.

"If I'm going to be alone, I want to be by myself." - Roslyn

Eli heads to the train station to see Clark Gable, who is happily bidding adieu to one of his many women. Clark and Eli discuss packing up and moving to greener pastures, while Isabel encourages Roslyn to throw her ring into the river so she'll "never get another divorce."

Cut to Harrah's. Isabel and Roslyn enter the club for drinks and Roslyn slips her wedding ring into her purse. Isabel suggests that Roslyn stay in town and start teaching dance again. Her argument is that "this town is always full of interesting people." Roslyn spots a dog and whistles him over to give him food. Naturally, this is Clark Gable's dog. He and Eli had been sitting at the bar, but they saunter over to chat up Marilyn. Good ole Clark is as squinty as ever and Marilyn keeps doing that weird thing with her lips.

Knowing she needs a change of scenery, Eli invites her to live in his unfinished home out in the country. Roslyn and Isabel agree to drive out and look at it, and Roslyn rents a car. On the drive up, Isabel warns Roslyn about cowboys, who aren't reliable even though "they're the last real men in the world."

Cut to the other car, where Eli is gabbing about Roslyn to Clark, who seems unimpressed. The two cars arrive at Eli's country house, which still seems like a reckless thing for these two idiot women to have done. Eli shows Roslyn the house and tells her all about his dead wife. Creeeeeeepy. Apparently the woman perished because Eli didn't have a spare tire. Isabel breaks out the whiskey, making the situation all the more reckless and irresponsible.

"Put that in your thoughts and see how they come out." - Clark, re: whiskey.

To add to the debauchery, Isabel makes sandwiches and Clark and Roslyn dance. The more I think about it I realize that if Marilyn made a habit of moving into strange men's homes, it's so wonder she died so young.

The misfit crew continues to work their way through the whiskey and Marilyn starts wandering around in the yard with her dress half off. Yes sir, Marilyn's drunk as a skunk so Clark drives her home. She's passed out in the front seat and he keeps giving her lecherous looks. Double creeeeeeeeepy.

"What makes you so sad? I believe you're the saddest girl I ever met." - Clark

Clark comes on to her, but she shuts him down. Marilyn moves into the country house and wakes up naked with Clark Gable sneaking into the room like a creeper to kiss her, the dog. At least he's cooked her breakfast, so Marilyn covers her shame and makes for the table.

The next few scenes are of Clark enjoying himself watching Marilyn bounce. She leaps around off and on the porch, then she's bouncing around horseback riding, then she's bouncing around frolicking on the shore with Clark's dog, Tom Dooley. In the garden at home, Clark gets all bent out of shape about the lettuce and Marilyn's all "Don't kill dem rabbits, George" (well, you know) and they argue about whether or not Clark should shoot the offending rabbit.

Eli and Isabel drop in for a visit and Eli is clearly jealous of Clark's burgeoning relationship with Roslyn. Isabel continues to moan and groan about cowboys (give it a rest already!) and for some reason, Marilyn has hung revealing pictures of herself in her closet, which Eli makes sure to oogle.

The gang decides to to go to the rodeo in Dayton and rolls up on Montgomery Clift sitting outside of a phone booth. They greet Monty, who promptly has a long and boring phone conversation with his mother. The guys agree they'll take Monty to the rodeo with them if he'll accompany them mustanging the following day.

"I was in a nightclub once called The Naked Truth... and they wasn't kiddin'!" - Montgomery

They arrive in Dayton where it's clear that Monty's gone a little tipsy.

"Hey, there's Franklin. Boy, does he hate his wife. Hey, Franklin! How's the wife!" - Montogomery

Clark continues to abuse the word "mustanging" and Monty busts out of the gate on his wild horse and subsequently busts his nose. Marilyn freaks. Monty gets fixed up and runs right back out of the gate, this time on a bull. He falls off again and Marilyn has a tearful little meltdown in the car.

Marilyn: How do you feel?
Monty: I feel... like I was kicked by a bull.

Naturally they all head for the bar and Monty forgets all about his head injuries in order to dance with Roslyn. Eventually they wind up outside with his head in her lap where they talk for a loooooong time. Clark finally interrupts them by falling out of the bar and slurring something about meeting his children. Sadly, Clark was mistaken. His children are no where to be seen, so Clark has to wander the street shouting for them. He climbs onto the hood of a car and topples off, giving Marilyn yet another opportunity to shriek and fall out of her clothes.

Eli drunk drives them all home going about 90 miles an hour. It seems Marilyn could not serve as the DD because she's too busy clutching at Clark and Monty and heaving her bosom.

Marilyn seems to forget she's concerned about Eli's driving and dozes off with the others. When she wakes, they've arrived safely at home and drunk Eli has decided now is the perfect opportunity to finish building the spare bedroom. All the men fall out of the car and Marilyn marvels at how dark it is.

It's dark! It's just so dark! Dark! It's dark!

This section of the film solidifies my belief that drunk people should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly. Dragging around looking like a bunch of morons. What is even wrong with you?

The group sleeps it off then heads out mustanging the next morning. Bringing Marilyn was a really bad idea. She cries. Clark comforts her. They catch a horse and Marilyn yells at them, so they let it go and she's happy again.

Hmph. Women.

Clark chooses this moment to prove his manhood and wrestle a horse to the ground. He ropes it to the car, takes a breather, then sets the horse free again. He then delivers a dramatic monologue about how he's through with all this wild cowboy business and he and Marilyn load up the dog and go to the house.

Really. That's all that happens.

I wish I could give this one rave reviews, but I just can't. To me, the most interesting thing about it is the fact that several of the stars dropped dead after making it. Clark Gable suffered a heart attack two days after filming concluded and was dead 10 days later. Marilyn was dead from a drug overdose within a year and a half. According to wikipedia, this was the last film for either Gable or Monroe. Another neat tidbit for you, Gable was Monroe's childhood idol. Nifty, huh? Too bad everybody is all dead and everything.

Other reviewers have called this film disjointed, and I absolutely agree with them. At times it is hard to follow, and some of Marilyn's reactions are so over the top that she doesn't even seem to be on the same dramatic plane as her co-stars. Also, you can definately tell that this was written by a playwright. Sometimes we spend so much time in one scene you find yourself wondering whether or not its almost time for intermission. A definite plus is Gable's performance. He's a little silly sometimes, but when he's drunk and screaming for his children, he'll tear your heart right out if you let him. Plus he has big hands which is...you know... hot.

Overall grade: B

Off in search of popcorn,

M. Hollywood