Jurassic Park
Starring:
-Sam Neill
-Laura Dern
-Jeff Goldblum
-Richard Attenborough
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Screenplay Credits: Michael Crichton & David Koepp
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense science fiction terror
The basic gist of this movie is, there’s a Scottish Colonel Sanders looking fellow who’s got a fancy walking stick and more money than brains. He’s built Jurassic Park and he’s brought in some dinosaur experts, a lawyer and, inexplicably, his grandchildren to sign off on the safety of the park. Everybody arrives and they go on a tour and before you know it, NEWMAN has screwed everything up and the lawyer dies on the toilet. Whatta way to go.
Here’s something I have a problem with: why is the main power switch thing located aaaaaaaall the way on the other side of the compound? Why can’t everything be centrally located in the command center? Why do we have to depend on 10,000 volt electric fences? Surely the power’s gonna blink every once in a blue moon, did nobody think of that? I can’t even count the times my alarm clock has failed to wake me for an early class because of one of those darn power blinks. And sure, they only last a second, but one second is all a hungry velociraptor needs, people!
Several things in the movie set this one up for a sequel. First of all, NEWMAN!’s Barbasol can with all the DNA info was buried in a mudslide while that meatosaurus chowed down on his portly hide. Secondly, John Hammond’s walking cane with the amber mosquito made it out on the chopper with them, and finally, they left the island there without destroying the dinosaurs. Can you imagine if that was the island that Gilligan got shipwrecked on? Or how about the randomly selected location of the next season of Survivor? Those immunity challenges just got a lot tougher. If you lose and go to Tribal Council, they don’t send you packing… they feed you to the T-Rex. Just sit back and watch those ratings soar.
FINAL GRADE: B+
Off in search of the main power switch,
M.
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I like Jeff Goldblum's line in the sequel:
ReplyDelete"Oh sure at first its all ooooh and ah and then later comes the running and the screaming"
Its funny to see Newman get eaten off the toilet by the T-Rex
I thought I remembered Newman getting eaten off the toilet too, but turns out he was eaten in the Jeep. The lawyer is the one who bites the big one in the john.
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